Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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