He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
