whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize