just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize