Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know her cup size but not her name....
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