weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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