I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am naked and annoyed.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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