He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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