and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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