Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
