Acid is not a monday night drug
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
