Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
