only if we run a train.
done.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
