I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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