Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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