I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I think im going to throw up on grandma
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
