You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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