Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
