Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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