the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
