I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
