And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
