You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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