Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
