Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize