How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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