you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
