I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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