Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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