I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
