You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
