That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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