omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
