You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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