I think I just saw someone hide a body.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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