I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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