they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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