1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize