I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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