guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
