she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
