So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
