Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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