Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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