In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
