If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
