Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
