What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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