I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
