I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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