I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
