awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize