I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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