i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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