true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize