DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
