his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
