he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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