38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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