My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Welp...herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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